finding inspiration

so these are the colors for an installational component i'm making for my show. they relate directly to a series of drawings. i'm making square doilies. they are going to be "key" - to inform you of the meanings of the colors in the drawings....

i wish i could own a whole wall of crochet thread - like what they have in lacis. i'd want to just keep it like an art object...

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| shift gears..... |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

been thinking a lot lately about how i feel like the larger conversations going on - at least the ones i've been a part of, and i'm talking political, art, life - feel like they are so retro. like we are back in 1980-something. and i keep finding myself muttering [mostly to myself] really? really? we have to discuss this again in this way? really ?!?! isn't there a better, newer, more interesting way to talk about this now???  maybe part of it is that i'm feeling tapped out. making a body of work for a show is really draining.  i'm looking for a "fill -up" in terms of inspiration and instead i'm feeling like i'm being bombarded with things that aren't helping. and feeling like just re-hashing isn't the best use of brain-powers.

i rambled in my sketchbook the other day:

the constant seeking... it stems from where? and what - REALLY- am i hoping to find?

the doubt and the fear creep in and sit alongside a very small kernel of hope. 

what should be most nurtured is also so easily pushed aside.

for what?

what fills that empty space? 

i keep thinking about ruts. the significance of them. the comfort. the routine.

but then the eventual rebellion.

how many days can you eat yogurt with cashews and apricot jam before you just want something else?

flavor of the month

it seems rarer and rarer that i encounter something that just seems pure intentioned. 

that sings.

and then sings to me.

and then through me.

that makes me want to do more.

try more.

is this just growing older?

or am i allowing cynicism to overtake.

or is it something all together different?

and so.

i still seek.

and for that i'm grateful.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

and so here are some things that i find inspiring and "true". a quote from jim jarmusch. a quote from kurt vonnecut. a snippet from ira glass of this american life [from a series on storytelling that i make my students watch a part of semester after semester]. and elizabeth gilbert's ted talk on nuturing creativity. i haven't read [nor do i think i will] eat, pray, love - but her talk. her talk is good. in many ways. 

happy spring.
there's a post on poppytalk - latest make believe collection
still time to get $5 worth of jet pens goodies if you are so inclined....

day-to-day + give-a-way

week 2 of the day-to-day sketch book project. it is really nice to be doing this. life feels super insane right now and this makes me pause for a few minutes and just observe something. day 4 is a solo plastic cup i use for water in my studio. for some reason that one strikes me as really really funny. it was also the funnest to do. not at all what i would normally attempt to draw - and i did it BIG... relatively.

but really - i promised a give-a-way - and you shall have one.... the above are blackwing pencils. i got to try one out courtesy of jet pens.  they are as lovely to use as they are to look at. i posted about some goodies i got from them not too long ago... and i have seriously spent hours just looking at the supplies they have on their site. if you can't make it to japan to peruse a stationery store - it's the next best thing.

well - they kindly kindly asked to feature me as their March Artist of the Month - and i have to say i was a bit surprised as my work is really rather different than many of the other artists they've featured.  surprised, but flattered none the less. they had me make a list of what jet pens products i've tried/used and ahem - it was rather long. i happen to have a gift certificate to spend - so let's spread some love.  here's the deal.  comment on this post with what jet pen product [s] you want to try out. you've got $5 to spend - anything on the site [you can start with my list if you are curious - but not necessary]. one entry not enough? follow and tweet to jet pens [and tweet to me too so i know you did it] for another entry. contest closes monday march 19th [2012], 5pm pacific time. be sure your comment links to a way i can get ahold of you to let you know you've won !

and now i will get back to grading. before i collapse into bed. day-light savings - i adore you, but the first few days are a bit brutal. i want my hour back.

here we go again

remember when i did a drawing a day? i was thinking about how that was such a great project in so many ways. and how i missed that practice. so i took up arms sketchbook and started again. this time nothing fancy. no real game plan. it just started when i was staring at the pink gift/favor bag that the little had received from a birthday party. just thinking you know - i should just draw that. which led to - you know i should just draw something stupid every day.

so i will. for as long as i can keep it up. something in front of me- probably on a table. and then i mark what it is and the date. it's another attempt to document the mundane moments of day-to-day life.

in the above my favorite is the little ceramic cup in which i keep my q-tips in the studio.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| and in www. news

i found this great app for putting iphone pics together... i wish it had a bit more flexibility in terms of layouts - but really. it's free. it does something that would take me much longer to do in photoshop... i likey. pic stich

i also broke down and bought myself a little gift. i've been lamenting lately that i have a million bags - bags that i don't use because transferring my stuff from one bag to the next is just more effort than i'm willing to put in on a regular basis.

and then i got this email about this bag-in a-bag concept. and this could solve all my problems ! check it out  and be sure to watch the little video.... this is the same company that brought you the iphone stitch case - my version pictured in my value of art education post

that is all. more framing going on here tomorrow. so excited to have a former student helping me. did i mention i was excited for help ?!? 

inspired by

so that book that i talked about? there's a show for all of us that were used in the book at artstream studios.... help celebrate the launch of art lab for kids... exciting to be with such good friends and artists. i love thinking about my work being in the same room with those listed ! the show opens on saturday - and i wish i had a teleporter to go to new hampshire to check it out - but i'm sure i'll at least get to see photos.



i sent this piece. it's an interpretation of the migration of the chestnut tiger butterfly - which roams all around japan and all of asia.

i don't consider myself a "photo realist" in any sense of the word but i'd be lying if i didn't say i had a hint of delight when i used a pin to place this butterfly. for a spit second it felt almost real [although i wouldn't want to pin any real butterflies]... i couldn't help but think of gwen - i wonder if she's ever seen a chestnut butterfly in person.



so to let the cat out of the bag - the whole next show is about migration. loosely and tightly. all kinds. i'll let your mind wander around that and i'll show you how i mean once that show is up. i'm getting butterflies in my stomach ... solo show. a lot to do. not sure how the work will be received. blah blah blah. but this piece - how can you not like the metaphor of the butterfly? and this one is more personal as i begin to delve into 1/2 of my ancestral past.

here it is framed. i keep trying to play with how i frame work - having things float above and elements of drawing go from the paper to the mat. if i HAVE to frame the work i might as well be super conscious and involved in the process right? right.

and a moment of beauty. i blurted out once that i can spend my whole day wandering around looking for some moment of beauty - or something that makes me pause. and then i feel the day is successful. well. i didn't feel today was entirely successful as i futzed around sewing and wasting time on one thing after another instead of doing what i should have been doing. but i did spy this:



buckets of crayon scraps color sorted.
and truth be told i did forget about all my problems as i oohed and ahhed for just one second.

happy friday and weekend to you.

process and progress

there's been a LOT of counting the the studio these days. i love this kind of mark-making, but never could just make it in my work for no reason. so i've constructed this whole framework to allow it to happen. i'm counting. miles. and each mark represents a mile. a lot of artists talk about their process being meditative, or indicative of taking them to another place - this process is definitely "other-worldly". repetitive marks and 1, 2, 3 echoing in my head. i have scraps of paper where i keep track of where i am. 500, 1000, 3000....

i also painted some chestnut tiger butterflies - for a piece that went to artstream studios. for a show opening next saturday - march 3. i'll show you the whole piece and talk about it next post - but i discovered this new paper - yupo - a synthetic vellum like paper that was made for watercolor that is REALLY fun to paint on.  duralar - my go to paper accepts wet media, but can be tempermental with watercolor. yupo is not. really cool.  

there is a lot of stitching in my future as i finish up a 4 part piece. after all this time i am STILL drawn to the backside [above]. so wrong and yet also so beautiful. i need to come up with another project where i can use the backside of embroidery meaningfully.

which leads me to this thought... i'm working on this piece. thinking that i had figured out the way to engineer it. partially true... it's a bit large, so i knew i'd have to put it on the wall to really see if it was done. and my gut told me i wasn't going to like it. so i delayed putting it up to delay the heartache. and i finally did on friday and no surprise. my "solution" wasn't a solution. so now i have a BUNCH more work ahead of me to try and right my wrong. OK. this is all part of the process, and thankfully i have the time to fix it, but it's still such a drag.

last night i was hanging out w/ a bunch of creative folks and told my tale with my head in my hands and everyone at the table could relate. that was super comforting. christine said something along the lines of : it's so odd, right? i mean we CHOOSE this life - and we love it - but it can still be so difficult. and for me i no longer have the luxury of just working through it until i fix it. i have to WAIT. until i can get back into the studio. which in some ways is good. it forces me to really think and sometimes it makes me trouble shoot in a way that is smarter and more efficient. and sometimes it's torture. because i have this project hanging over my head and all i really want to do is MAKE IT RIGHT. [did i mention that all artists are aesthetic nazi's to some degree?]

this scenario reminded me of conversations in classes i've had with students where we talk about how random strangers love to say "oh you are an ARTIST !?! that must be so FUN ! how great to be CREATIVE...". and while YES this is true. and YES we are lucky. it isn't always fun and games. [there is a reason the stereotype of a "tortured" artist exists]. it also reminded my of something sydney said in passing: sometimes painting is just so easy and so fun. and then i feel guilty. and so i make it hard. and then it gets WAY too hard and i want it to be fun again.

the grass is perpetually always greener. happy sunday.

oh february

you know it's february when the ornamental plums bloom. so delicate and barely fragrant  - small pink petals under foot - diaphanous snow. the only kind of snow we get around these parts.

if you have been wondering where i've been, i've been wrapped up in a sick fog. and then a fog of catching up after being sick.

so let's chat about books again for a second shall we? this is my latest stack. everything sings - with an intro by my radio crush ira glass [host of this american life]. another book on mapping. i really like this. it's local mapping in essence. who calls the cops in a neighborhood and who doesn't and how would you depict that visually?? this is wood's depiction of HIS hood - boylan heights, raleigh, north carolina.

then eva zeisel's book on design  - master of the modernist [with feminine sensibilities] utilitarian ceramic [i'm lucky enough to have some of her crate and barrel dinnerware] - this is her tell-all of process book. what she thinks about and is concerned with when making. her logic applies to much more than just vase/bowl/plate making.

and finally extra/ordinary [must love titles that are visual puns]. since my work is often considered part of the "contemporary craft" movement i am continually interested in what other artists are viewed via that filter. this is an EXCELLENT collection of them - with some really strong thoughts on what it means to be using crafty/feminine materials in a contemporary art context. plus

any book that has a pink tank on it is fine by me.

the other day i logged onto etsy and for some reason clicked on activity in your circle [i rarely do this]. heather smith jones had favorited this amazing typeography/letter bracelet.  i couldn't resist. so i bought it [sorry heather if you were seriously eying it...] but as a bracelet it got caught on everything... so i turned it into a necklace.

this is one of those things that you want to wear all the time. i would wear it everyday but then i know i'll tire of it. so... i'm not. but it's hard to resist - esp when the little likes it too. mama it's the alphabet ! let's sing the alphabet song. there's a C for cookie ! a Z for zucchini !

i had the pleasure of visiting kathryn clark's studio the other day.  i thought i'd share it on poppytalk - so instead of a make believe collection post i did an in the studio post... kathryn has a great blog too.  if you are a bay area artist i'm considering doing more studio posts - if you want me to visit - or know someone who has a great studio, let me know !

next post i promise some studio updates. i'm going to have to start framing soon. mark your calendars. my solo show opens in Los Angeles at Walter Maciel Gallery April 14th. i'll be there [all square].

a book ! and cyclical studio stuff

so susan schwake from artstreams has a new book out. cool art projects for kids [or actually not just kids]. it's full of really great ideas - and you can get your copy here.



and there's a project based on my work and my love of vellum paper. so true. i do love my duralar. can't deny it.



i've been working on this project in the studio - actually let's tell it like it is. i engineered the background in the studio, but have been stitching while i watch TV at night before going to bed. stitching these little red circles. they are markers for something that landed from the sky.

it made me think about how some things just end up as constants in your art life. like these dotted line circles. when i was in grad school i used to spend a lot of time at the library. mills had this amazingly odd collection of old old books which you actually were allowed to check out. when i first got interested in world war II planes i was enthralled with all the weird military books i could find.

one had a series of images of planes flying over maps. bombers. with their targets marked by dotted lines on the pages. when i saw those  i knew i had to draw them. and those dotted circle outlines just HAD to be stitched - because that's what they looked like to me. stitching.




this is one of those drawings. done on really fragile onion skin paper [before i discovered duralar].

makes me think about how there are just certain constants that emerge in a studio practice. things that reoccur even if you don't intend them to. materials, ideas, concepts, THINGS that just need to get made or done.  what keeps coming up in your making? i'm curious.



the other thing i do all the time is draw the dogs. they are always there. and easier to draw than people - at least for me.



fast. lines. wrong ones left there or re-drawn. simple. black and white. quick before they move.
not really looking at the page. just moving the pen.

sometimes i'm sort of surprised when i stop and look. did i do that?

i can't remember if i posted here... did you know i was interviewed on dog milk - talking about millie and tonka? happy february.