sugar crash, cold weather & emerge mania

this morning was critique #2 for the drawing class.... of course Sandee and I brought donuts - I should really know better but I ate 2. I needed the sugar to get through all the talking. It's a funny thing - making art is such a quiet introspective process, but then in a classroom situation you are supposed to talk about EVERYTHING. And I, as the teacher, am expected to encourage dialogue and point out as many things as I possibly can in 15 minutes or less. It's a profound instance of thinking on your toes - sometimes I don't even know how my sentence is going to end and I'm so glad that I manage to get something out with-out a bushonian word flub or a round of intense moronic blinking! I am so proud of my students for all the risks they are taking, and all the effort and heart they are putting into their projects.... I came home and completely crashed - overloaded on talking and sugar I lay comatose for a good hour or so!

it is starting to get rather chilly.... there is something nice about crisp cold air and freshly fallen leaves.... if only our house was REALLY built like an eastern cottage shingle - all insulated and ready for the snow. Northern Calif. is fooling itself - because we are in CA we don't think we need well insulated windows/doors or central heating (OK, modern houses have this, but....). However every fall/winter I have to pull out the hats, socks, bathrobes and watch garb shiver (poor poochie). I swear (for reals) that we are going to get that woodburning stove next summer!!!

let the EMERGE mania begin! there was already a kick-off party on Friday night at the swank "W" hotel in SF - free drinks, fancy mini foods (scallops, crab cakes, chicken skewers). I am finding this whole process a bit surreal - and this is even though I have been privvy to the whole art-world thing. Here we are - 20 lowly, struggling, "emerging" artists sucked into this GenArt machine. The big gala event for them: Lux is their giant fundraiser and "opening" night for the show. This means that the ticket price is steep - so none of our friends (except for the 3 comps we get) will really get to show. There is an artist reception for "us" - but it's not advertised anywhere because they want everyone to buy tickets to Lux.... On Friday I was really wondering if people were there just for the atmosphere? free drinks? are they there because they like art or because they want to be associated with it? And what exactly does this mean? There is such a long history of artst/patron associations- what is the status of this relationship now? There is this very strange dynamic - poor (financially) artists are the reason for getting together in this decadant atmosphere... someplace they probably wouldn't normally gather on their own (maybe for 1 drink just to see what it's like - or if you are a rich, hip artist you could go all the time!).... hmmm.... what is the cache about "the arts"? and if it's such a "good", "cool", "meaningful" thing (the arts that is) why is our culture virtually devoid of arts discussion/education in the mainstream? do the participants in this art game WANT to keep it like a secret society so that it is something that they (exclusively - or with a few in the know) can coyly participate in - in an elitist manner? I don't think I should spend too much time thinking about this lest my head explode or I get too depressed.... I should learn to just go with the flow, right? as long as I can hang (tooth and nail) onto my own personality and ideals and philosophies everything will be OK (repeat while maintaining normal breathing patterns) perhaps some philosophical reading is overdue.

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