time is a funny thing

carte Originally uploaded by dressform.

this is what i got when i looked for the space time continuum.... i'm still not sure i "get" it but i like the idea of time incursions....

i have been going back to Mills even though i'm not teaching this semester since m3 has given me a temporary admin position (thank goodness for paychecks). the last time i marched up the wide steps i realized how many ways i've interacted with that campus. as student, as teacher as this new office girl. i looked up at the grad studio and the memories of going to that place to work - of finding what i realize now is my real voice - of all the fear and challenges and complications of that; interacting with fellow students/peers/teachers.... and how now a mere 2 years later so many of those relationships are completely changed or non-existant or have devloped into something other than what they once were. 2 little years - they have gone by so quickly but i feel like i am 2 million miles away from the grad student that went into that building on practically a daily basis.

so either i'm finally charging what i should, or i'm off my rocker (in the design arena). i was too expensive for someone! normally i would be heartbroken, but this time around i am actually relieved. although this project would have been nice because it could have funded the rest of my spring i knew it was a big job and so i estimated a big job price. and now that i don't have it some future weight has been lifted off my shoulders (how to move the peas to fit the carrots?). i actually realize that it isn't worth it unless they realize i'm worth it. (and although it was a high price i still think it was fair - i wasn't gouging for gouge sake) can this translate into the art arena??? wouldn't that be a new tune....

i have had the fortune of chatting with a few fellow artists the last few days. it is nice to speak the same language. to find that your loneliness, confusion and wonder are simultaneously shared by another human in their own little studio. (the time continuum again) and we all hate marketing. surprise suprise (and we are all slightly sickend and perhaps jealous of those that do it well)

the enchanting poet sent me some prose. i need more time to read and digest it but i can tell it sings. in a lovely heartfelt voice.... and in this particular volume she brings 2 amazing women of the past into this century and in the first set of poems "i wished metaphorically to create a circle which is to say, create an archetype whose resonance is timeless. this archetype also may be called love" (are you getting the connectivity of this theme? time you slipery thing you - not only of the day are you, but perhaps the week?!) i'll look for you on the otherside of the incursion.....