self portrait tuesday

me Originally uploaded by dressform.
i have admired this amongst all the blogs out there forever. {started by red current and on flickr - started by joy } i have always been scared of my own portrait - be it in painting, photography, whatever. it's too scary - daunting - oddly permanent. but the flipside is that i am fascinated by self-portraits. my studio mate connie , as well as countless other artists, have used the self portrait in intriguing ways for eons.... so in the spirit of oh what the hell.... here's my first one....

taken this weekend at clear lake.... photos here. there i spent glorious hours floating on a noodle (long flotation device - and no! i didn't invent the name) in the lake. giant lake - 8 miles wide... endless green gray water... no computer!! (gasp). the water ran hot and cold while you were in it (from the springs that fed it?).... which oddly mirrors what i feel about my life right now. hot and cold. which leads me to the kunundrum that is blogging about your life.

i am in one of those spots that is super super personal.... this makes me want to run and stop blogging or blog even more as a way to get around and through it (if you couldn't guess already - i am a LIBRA!). i was chatting with mav of p2p about the difficulty of getting just too personal and yet how it's that amazing "real" stuff that makes reading other blogs so damn interesting. it's hard to feel vulnerable... especially when you are feeling sad and exposed in life in general as well.... in the spirit of sharing and oh what the hell again: i am trying to figure out how to say goodbye to a very important person in my life. i don't know if this means i am going to disappear from the blog for awhile - if i am going to blog about silly and meaningless things for awhile or if i will take the plunge and reveal the whole shabang... i hope you, dear blog, will be patient with me as i figure this out....