drawing a day ~ week 20

drawing a day ~ week 20 Originally uploaded by dressform.

i don't even know where to start... i feel like i have so much and so little to say simultaneously.... is this in the air? is this the new year squeezing in and pushing out the old?

this weeks drawings. the last green. the almost black green.... so dark that it almost seemed like a pencil line when i put it down.... but not exactly.

to answer the question about the backside of embroidery.... i "discovered" it's beauty quite by accident. i had been embriodering a figure into a painting and got sick of looking at the painting - so i turned it to the wall.... and then i saw all these threads. dangling. tangled. revealing the "other" side of the figure's nature. i held my breath and just knew that i needed to do more. it was my foyer into figurative work [had stayed away with a vengance prior]. when i started i also had some simple goals... to learn how to embroider - different stitches, patterns, tensions, threads.... so i would concentrate on making the front "right" and try not to peek at the back... i now kind of know what the back [as front] is going to look like based on what kind of stitch i use.... now i'm more interested in mixing the use of front and back... at least in the drawing.... for the me the metaphor of the backside is just so compelling. i like the idea of looking at what you don't normally. [see?? the ordinary is making another appearance]

which kind of leads me to: been thinking a lot about art vs. design. is there a vs.? are they they same? i think they are definitely intertwined. when does something cross a line though? when it's personal? are the self-portraits more "art" than these drawings? [although this may be a bad example since i see the drawings as more of an exercise] i know that nebo this has been on your mind as well. do we want an answer? is there one?? is it a "gut feeling"? i can't over the thought that there's some internal response that we feel when we "get" something - when it speaks to us... is that what makes art? does all art need to have concept? [THAT'S a can of worms!] i always try to tell students that formal issues can be your content.... i DO really believe that. but does it really hold up in the "art world"? sometimes i think yes wholeheartedly and sometimes it feels like there is a hierarchy. some work gets bonus points for conceptualism.....

so..... my list of wishes/goals/hopes for last year?
:: remember to bring your own tote bag to the grocery store. not that the free paper bags with handles aren't useful - because they ARE - but I don't need 30 of them under my sink! OK i didn't do so good on this one.... i did it sometimes, but often forgot. this one still applies for sure!
:: get over the fear of submitting your work to galleries/non-profits and start doing a little bit of self-promotion (OK, realisitically I won't get over that fear - but perhaps I can shove it into the back of the closet as I attempt to send some packets out)
i did a bit better in this department. i bookmarked a lot of sites.... goal this year it to actually mail more things off.... this wasn't a total dud, but it still applies!
:: research some galleries/non-profits/residencies/grants to help you do the above and the REALLY apply/submit to the ones that look good!! (perhaps repitition helps to conquer fear)
:: spend more time in the studio with less or NO guilt. (the last part is the crucial point) I CAN be an artist by profession (even if I'm not making a lot of $$ at it). It is what makes me feel the most complete and satisfied and the dishes can get done at the end of the day instead of at the beginning.
i actually DID get over the guilt... now i just want to spend more TIME - separate issue, but....
:: look for and apply for more teaching jobs/pools. you can't get hired if people don't know you want the job.
well.... i didn't really apply for many more, but so far what i've been doing has been pretty steady. still need to apply for things as they come up. for sure
:: make frothy milk lattes every morning for myself (I have been doing this and it is such a great way to start the day - it somehow makes that cup of coffee not just the necessary jolt to start the day but a luxurious perk)
SO did this one... and am keeping it up!
:: read more fiction
:: read more art theory
these still apply!
:: buy a new computer

so for this year?
:: take better and MORE pictures [see i get to slip in the D50 wish again]
:: learn to say NO. N.O. mean it when you say it. don't take on ANY more freelance clients. NONE. until you are completely finished with the too many that you have now.[not that i want to seem ungrateful for the ones i have - but i feel too stretched. not a good feeling]
:: make more time for family and friends
:: streamline the computer usage. it is not an appendage that you need to be connected to 24/7 like your heart or your mind or your liver.....
:: take risks. just take them.

if you are still with me... i leave you with something i've been enjoying david byrne radio . it's fun to listen to someone else's playlist... this month is a take on country..... [no garth brooks here!]

happy new year - yet again! if you haven't signed up already.... you really ought to :)

more why we blogs too!


wendy said…
for me art & design goes together.
I love seeing the back become the front with your thread art.
I also love how the drawing-a-day has progressed. It is beautiful to see how it grows and changes!
poppy said…
i like the idea of looking at what you don't normally. i love things that twist my assumption. i don't want to see what i expect. the unexpected is so much more exciting, challenging, thoughtful. that is why your embroidery resonates with me.

interesting post. it can be all so consuming; the idea of art and design as it's so interpretive; and that's what makes it so challenging and dynamic as well as controversial.
Di said…
Intresting post. So much to think about.
I'm totally with you on the latte's in the morning- I did this all 2005 too :)
anke said…
I have to take a close look at the drawings over at flickr to see more details. But I love what I've seen so far!

I remember I inherited a silk Chinese pillow from my grandmother that was slightly stained. I took it apart and turned the fabric inside out and discovered that the 'wrong' side was much more beautiful than the 'right' side! Maybe it's just how you look at things...
pat said…
your insistence on making "the back" what one sees is much appreciated for someone like me who generally tends to take what one sees, or is told, as "reality." Looks like you accomplished A LOT with your goals last year. NOW if you can keep to your promise about not taking any more freelance work until you have completed what you have done, life will be a lot less stressful!
mav said…
great entry!! so much going on ...
my only thought on art & design {and the whole thing} is that there is no answer. or rather, there is no answer that stays constant. we are always changing so why would we LOOK for an answer that would just be that way forever? it's not realistic. maybe you should answer the question for yourself just for now but allow yourself to change if/when need be. it's OK to change the way you think about something!!
by the by, i love the new drawings.
you are a dynamo and it's so hard to keep up with it all but when i finally do have time to sit and let is soak in..... i LOVE it all. hugs to you!! mav
natalie said…
just a quick comment to say that we are such kindred spirits! it makes me happy

I too have been enjoying David Byrne (on and off), maybe i shall send you a cd of some of my favourites...

and the art/design question I will be revisting here to comment on this when I have time to digest it...

such great thoughts today, the lists, everything!
andrea said…
love the women in this week's series of drawings.

also, totally enjoyed reading about how you discovered the beauty of the backside of embroidery... just so cool, you know, reading about how you had that moment...

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