14 April 2006
can tonka be his own rabbit's foot? i took this photo over a week ago and thought it was funny how much he looked like a rabbit.... or maybe a frog? morran what do you think?
anyway... the other night came home to a tonka whose eyes were quickly shifting from left to right [think marty feldman on speed] and who couldn't tell which way was up.... inner ear infection? most definitely.... well - it got only worse.... yesterday he had to have surgery to remove the disgusting mess of goop that had exploded into his ear/head [sorry for the grusome details]. being a frenchie with bizarre atanomy and a compromised airway surgery is spooky [if it isn't spooky enough on its own]. he hasn't been home for the last 2 nights. i miss the tiny pitter patter of his feet. i miss his insistance to sit on my lap at the most inopportune times.... apparently he is upsidedown in a cage still trying to figure out which way is up. he is supposed to come home tonight.... but there is a bit of a recovery road ahead.
and so yesterday was a day of contrast and confusion [this phrase being stuck in my head from my principles of design lecture]. it was sunny for a WHOLE day for the first time in god knows how long - i could instantly feel my mood shifting because of that. i now firmly believe that s.a.d. [the disorder] is real..... i was at the point where i felt i was going to collapse if there was another day of rain! i finished a website! hurrah! but still have one to go..... and the one to go is one that is giving me a giant giant headache. partially because it's weighted with emotional baggage and thus there is a core part of me that is fighting against it.... and i'm my own client for this one. it's really no fun to be your own client. the internal dialogue can be funny but i feel like i loose clarity.... and then driving home i chose to listen to the ipod instead of NPR.... couldn't handle any news... and the song "a history of lovers" by calexico and iron and wine came on and i almost lost it.... it was like every emotion on both ends of the spectrum hit me full force. i could have laughed, i could have wept. instead i carefully got myself home and ate some dinner. and went to bed early.
so, no photobooth friday or 5 senses for me... no divulging of good mail.... that will have to wait until next week.... please if you have a minute... think good thoughts for my little biscut! have a good weekend...