14 February 2009
happy valentines day
so... why have i been gone?? well.... i have a new valentine
i had a baby girl.... january 12th at 6:04pm. she wasn't supposed to come until feb. 23rd, but i guess she decided that the womb was not the place to be and that the world was just way too interesting to stay cooped up any longer.
she had to stay in the Newborn ICU for 10 days - which in the scheme of things was not very long - but those were 10 of the longest days of our lives. it's really hard to get discharged from a hospital and have to leave your baby behind.
we've been getting to know one another - and getting used to a totally new routine. and my expectations of what i can get done in a day have shifted beyond belief. at the same time when i look at her, i can't imagine my life without her - she has just embedded herself in a way that is hard to describe.
parents talk about the absolute love they feel. and we all, in theory, understand and nod and agree. but then it happens to YOU. and it's beyond anything that you can put into words.
i don't want this to become just my baby's blog. i've been thinking a lot about if i still want and or need this space and what i want it to do. for now i think yes - i do need this space - mostly as a place to still think about and talk about art and the funny things that get made or photographed in my life [some of which will obviously now be baby oriented]. i will not stop doing all those things. in fact my studio in my yard is WELL WELL underway - it's so exciting.
and i miss all my friends online. there are moments [particularly late at night] when i feel very isolated - everyone is asleep except for me and my baby - and it reminds me of how you can feel alone in the studio. and that was why i have grown to cherish this space and the friends and community i feel like i have here.
granted i don't think i'll be able to post or visit other people's blogs or comment on other people's blogs as much as i have in the past, but i'm OK with that and hope you are too. then again - you never know, right?? and the one thing i'm really learning is that you have to take things as they come and adjust accordingly. it's all in the stride.
i don't think i'm going to show many pictures of my baby here [i will post pics on flickr for friends and family often i'm sure]. and i don't want to name her here. it just feels like she should remain a bit private. but... her name is two colors in two langauges - so i'll refer to her as my dear friend wenders did before i would reveal her name. color color - or cc
but i will give a little sneak peek of her. after 8 months of feeling like a giant science experiment [being pregnant is such an otherworldly experience!] she's here ! she's here!
her grandparents are coming for a visit today.
life shifts in grand ways.
see you soon!