17 December 2009

do you hear what i hear? [and charlie rose is a prophet?]

gramin my book

it's feeling a bit more holiday-ish around these parts. i managed to get the mantle decorated during a naptime. after all it's our first christmas as a family of 5 [i'm including the dogs and cats]. surprisingly i even have the urge to listen to some sappy holiday music. so i downloaded some. i tried to find versions by bands/people i like [sufjan stevens, mew, arcade fire] if i like what i found i'll share.... i'll try and share some photos of holiday trimmings soon too.

i was poking around the studio the other day working working working when i opened up one of my doily books and the above envelope/article slipped out. i stopped in my tracks - seeing my grandmother's writing brought a tear to my eye. she used to send me clippings from the LA times, or just random things that she thought i'd be interested in. this article was about an art fair in LA. i know i took it to the studio and read it, and then placed it the book. and then years later here it was. i'm glad i found it. it made me feel as though i was sitting with her for a moment. in the studio she helped me build. it was a nice feeling.

so what am i working on, you ask?

sneak peek

there's a sneak peek. i'm working on some small pieces for the enormous tiny art show in february.

i'm excited. trying out some new stuff mixed with some old ideas. the small format is perfect for experimenting. somehow i feel like i can "see" easier when i work small. these are 5"x5" squares. oh so cute.

lake temescal

[this photo has nothing to do with what i'm about to say. taken on a walk with the little. cold almost winter day. made me think of shari and her pond. ]

so here i am waiting for a studio visit. i'm hungry. get my plate ready. turn on the TV [oh what a luxury]. switch on charlie rose. hello jeff bridges. hello maggie gyllenhaal. oh you have a new movie.

i am convinced charlie rose is a prophet. why you ask? well there was the time in a late night stupor cate blanchet got me started on atrophy [read the post - also around the holidays? here . when i re-read it i realized that i used to write longer and more philosophical posts. hmmm] OK - so maybe it's not mr. rose per se - but i watch the show and somehow things get discussed in a way that shoots to the core of my being. i immediately think - i was JUST pondering that.

today? jeff bridges mentioned fear. fear as the equivalent of fire. how you can warm your feet by the fire and it can simultaneously burn your house down. indeed. feeling a bit fearful about work in the studio and lack of work for money this resonated. then maggie gyllenhaal talked about how her role in this film [ crazy heart ] made her feel vulnerable. how she used to think that you had to be strong and fierce as a woman, but that now she thinks that being vulnerable is OK and is a place you can learn from. um yeah. that would be me. and then the director scott cooper talked about getting back to zero. how you have to start and end a scene at zero. and then jeff and maggie wax poetic about how that's true. you can't recreate a great moment that just happened. you have to re-live - do it again - make anew. that is exactly what i was struggling with in the studio. how to do what i know how to do but also try something new. to meld the two together and see where it takes me instead of trying to force out pieces. or re-make pieces that i already have. that just never works. GET BACK TO ZERO is a good way to think about it.

the lesson here is that if i watch charlie rose in december with actors that i like i have to be careful. or i have to really pay attention because it may just be a mirror of my mind/life. you can watch the show online on charlie rose's website. it was aired 12/16. or search for jeff bridges. [today it's on their home page, but it will move to the archive soon enough].

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ok. if you are in need of a last minute gift idea? under $10? check out what some of us moms have listed on cafe mom

there's a $20 version too

eireann is featuring a month by month re-cap of her year with a photo from her archive. it's a really nice thing.

have a great weekend!

10 comments:

shari said...

i love the water shot, and it makes me happy to know you thought of me. i often tear up at seeing my grandfather's handwriting so i know just what you mean. beautiful sneak peek. such goodness in this post, friend.xo

jen said...

love this post, lisa. can't wait to go watch that episode. i have been having a similar struggle lately. always feeling guilty if i am not somehow trying to make money. it is really hard to create this way. i often find myself being inspired by listening to fresh air podcasts. it is alway enlightening to listen to people talk about their craft. i guess i should start watching charlie rose too! xo to you.

Anonymous said...

I know from a virtual tour of your home that you have things of your Grandmother's around you in your home. So, she is on the edge of your consciousness all the time, right? But you were fortunate to have the envelope drop out of the book as a reminder of her...especially at this time of year! You are blessed to have had her be such a positive force in your life.
I am always in bed before Charlie Rose is on TV. But he sounds great!!

Leililaloo said...

It's always such a pleasure to visit your blog. You made me think of the hardness versus softness in myself, lately it comes up a lot in my relationships. The mask i ussually wear is made of hardness, screams 'hey, i can take care of myself you know' when instead i feel i would like to climb on someones lap and weep...

I defenitly i will check the show online.... Thanks for the tip and your honesty.

Amelia said...

Oh, this really resonated with me. I feel the same longings, questionings and musings too, about my whole life. Trying to wend a way somewhere, doing the 'right' thing, sometimes understanding and sometimes not.

It's great to read something deeper. Here's to getting there with creativity leading us to the right place financially, and everything else. . . . .

Thanks :)

Amelia.x

gracia said...

Love your posts in all there forms. Long, short, visual, reflective, darting from one topic to another much like a conversation... they are always a delight to read. They feel very open and honest, and I feel so very glad when I see that you have posted something new. Such a treat!

g xo

julie said...

great post again lisa - always bringing thoughts to the surface, questioning things...

wishing you all the very best for the holidays.

love julie xxx

Katrina said...

yes!!! getting back to zero. i was just talking with david this morning about how i have to remember not to try to make art but to just make art. this was an epiphany about writing poetry when i was in grad school: don't try to write a "poem" just write. yes, and to translate this to my visual work. uh huh. and getting back to zero is what i'm talking about. see, now it's even made me long and rambling!!! happy week to you.

sophia said...

back to zero...i will keep that in mind. thanks for sharing lisa.
sufjan stevens...love!

Jacqui Dodds said...

Your post is really thoughtful and reflective - especially with the photo of the lake. I am interested to read about fear, vulnerability and ceatively making anew without forcing pieces.