re-cap and rhythm

how was yours? i hope full of everything you hoped for [and maybe a little extra of something you didn't know was coming!] above is my spectra re-cap of the holidays at my house.

i have been very very in my head this week - which has been actually a real treat. i am listening to ticks and tocks that i shoved aside weeks ago in an end of semester/ holiday daze/craze. i have been ruminating on where i am - from big to small - in my life, in the studio, in my house, in my relationships, on the street [looking lost]. it may be because it's the end of the year and there's this tug to wrap things up [literally ~ with big shiney bows - and figuratively ~ the new year brings new styles, new hopes, new dreams - and financially ~ the big tax envelopes begin to arrive]

i have been putting off the responsibilites of my syllabus [which is starting to switch gears from a gentle coo to an off-pitch whine. attend to me.... school starts on the 9th... you have only an outline for me..... hey hEy hEY HEY!!!] and instead am dilligently working in the studio. and thinking about the studio. and art. and as i do this i REALLY wish that my studio {besides my family} could be the number 1 focus in my life. i could paint something, tack it up, take it down, change a color, stare at something, turn it upsidedown and stare some more, cut something out, try a new paper, research wallpaper patterns and pictures of cupcakes.... for longer than i care to admit. [although here i am admitting it]

i am also on MY schedule... staying up late.... waking up 8:30-9am.... feels luxurious and wonderful. ENJOYING my coffee in the morning.... enjoying catching part of charlie rose..... speaking of which.... cate blanchet was on the other night.... and she's whip smart - uses the word astonishing as an adjective with flair - and totally captivated me. she spoke about film and stage with that twinkle in her eye.... and i love when someone is passionate and SERIOUS about their endeavors. at one point mr. rose said to her - something along the lines of - and how do you manage it all - you do so much. and i perked up - lifting my head from garbo's back and staring intently when she answered "i don'k know anyone who has managed it all.... something always atrophies".

atrophy :: a wasting away, a diminution in the size of a cell, tissue, organ or part. that word, that thought, has been the thing rolling around in my brain the last few days.... i feel many parts of my brain have atrophied.... but then again can that process also strengthen the opposite or other? meaning as i cease to care about what 8 times 6 equals does the part of my brain that jitters over color gain strength? sort of like the idea that there is only so much matter in the world and we just keep repositioning it.... and doesn't atrophy just sound smarter and more interesting than "dropping the ball", "being forgetful" - plus i like the idea that it's not atually totally lost.... just dimished in size....

so there you have it.... this is what i do when left to my own devices.... i think it's time to eat one more ginger cookie... the one sweet thing i made for the season... and there are a few left.... crunchy - until you dunk them in milk.... and then... they smush ever so gently..... and if i don't make it back before then.... HAPPY NEW YEAR! 07? 07? 07?? wow.