26 June 2011

here comes the sun

garbo my love

a few days ago we put garbo to sleep. cancer had invaded her insides - and garbo being garbo she didn't really show it. until the very end she was the most loving, giving and fantastically loyal dog i've ever known. she kissed my tears as i was hugging her and thanking her and wishing her onto a better place.

this. this is the hardest part about owning pets. knowing that their time with you is limited. and really our time with garbo was actually longer than with almost any other pet we had [almost]. we had what 16 years together? i was looking back and found this post about how she came into our lives.

garbo - my baby. while other pets had pieces of my heart, she really belonged to me. and i to her. i can't even count how many days she spent with me in the studio. how many times she wiggled her whole body in glee when she saw me. how many times she squeezed herself into funny positions to sleep next to me in bed or on the couch. [and how lucky to have her put her head in my lap the other night. as if she knew. she hadn't done that in so so long].

and while she mellowed [considerably] as she aged, she was still such a lover. i think she was our official greeter [although lately she sometimes slept through someone's arrival]. she was also completely and totally trusting of us - and so utterly adaptable as long as we were there. she sat calmly once while my husband stapled her toe together [with a medical stapler - he knows what he's doing] - no anesthesia - no whimpering. she adjusted with each new animal that arrived and left. she lost an eye to a painful and awful disease and didn't once seem even slightly bothered by that. every cat we've ever owned has ended up loving her. rubbing into her and snuggling with her.

and when we brought the little home it was if she knew. she knew she had to be second fiddle to this little human and that was OK with her. she didn't resent it. she didn't act out. she simply loved and trusted the little as much as us. the photos i have of the little leaning up against her and hugging her are something i will always treasure.

and the simple yet incredibly poignant way the little is dealing with this makes me both deeply sad and deeply grateful. mama - where is garbo? [she's gone] she died? [yes she did] her body stopped working? [yes it did] where did she go? [i don't know where people and animals go when they die, but i really hope it's a good place] is she playing with other doggies? [i really really hope so] we miss her. [yes. yes. we do]

oh yes. oh yes. we do.

if you own velvet underground's loaded record, play who loves the sun . we always always said that was her song. and right now the lyrics feel particularly right.

goodbye my sweet. i know we'll get another dog. but there will NEVER ever be another you.

24 comments:

sarah said...

I think it's fair to say anyone who's ever loved a dog/been loved by a dog is crying copious amounts of tears right now. I am deeply sorry for your family's loss, and I really hope she's playing with other doggies, too.

Linda Davick said...

Oh Lisa.

I just came over from Mari's blog to meet you and I'm so sad to hear that you had to say goodbye to Garbo.

betsy said...

oh, lisa. i'm so sorry about garbo. sending so much love and peace and healing your way...xo

Padmasari said...

can not say much, I cried reading this post. reminded me that we have limited time with our pets. just want to hug tightly my Chicco, and celebrate every day we are given. God bless you.

Kim said...

Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry. *Hugs.*

Kathryn said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss. This is such a beautiful and heartfelt tribute. She sounds like she was such a wonderful part of your life. I put my 20 year old cat to sleep four years ago and still miss her. I knew that cat longer than I knew my own mother! And it's true, there will never be another pet like them.

house on hill road said...

oh, lisa, i am so sorry. what a blessing that you had so much time together. xo.

gracia said...

Garbo, dear Garbo. XO

Sending hugs to you. Saying goodbye to beloved pets is so very hard. I've no suitable words.

XO

louise said...

Sending you a hug from me too. Garbo sounds the very best of friends and it sounds like you all had the very best of lives together.

As an owner of two older pets (my senior gents) I'm very aware of having to say goodbye sooner than later. A prospect I'm dreading, but wouldn't swap having them as my companions for anything, even if it means facing the pain of goodbye.

xolj

Kathleen said...

Reading this brings tears to my eyes. How lucky Garbo was (and you are) to experience such love in this life. I'm so sorry for your loss dear Lisa.
hugs.

sophia said...

i'm so sorry to hear that lisa. such a heartfelt written piece about garbo...conveys a beautiful relationship.
hugs and take care.
xo,
s

Denise | Chez Danisse said...

: ( going to play who loves the sun now...

Eireann said...

OH lisa, i'm really sorry.
.
.
.
.

inappropriate, but i always end up laughing at funerals (horrible): my password here is "shaggn".
.
.
.
hi back. big HUG

jen said...

i'm so sorry lisa! thinking of you and your family. xo

melissa s. said...

I'm so sorry, Lisa. I know that pain so well. I'm so glad to have met sweet Garbo. Hugs to you

robyn said...

(((Lisa)))

Frau Haselmayer said...

sending you hugs.

Katrina said...

oh, so sorry for your loss. your words sum up perfectly what we felt when we lost our dear stella. i couldn't even blog about it. how lucky that garbo found you, and you her. rest well, dear pup. xoxo, k.

Nelou said...

I'm in tears and my heart goes out to you… I too love my four-legged baby so incredibly much. People often don't understand, but when my hubby leaves, which he often does, she is my rock. What a lucky girl to have you as a mama. Hugs!!

shisomama said...

so sorry to hear the news, lisa. your love for your dog was obviously great, as is your sadness now. hugs to you.

Cally said...

What a beautiful post, I'm in tears and can't read back (was coming to see how Italy went). I know exactly what you mean about other pets having pieces of your heart but her really belonging to you, that's exactly how I felt about my dog Sophie, 17yrs and I don't think I could feel that way about another pet... or person (other than a child of my own).

So very sorry that we have both lost our beloved dogs to cancer, but so glad that we both had them to make so so many years of wonderful memories.

julie said...

I have tears in my eyes dear Lisa. I'm so sorry for your loss of Garbo. You can tell from the photos of him what a special spirit he had. Love xx

blair said...

Lisa, I'm so very sorry. You have shared Garbo with us and we will all miss her. All pets should be loved and cherished like Garbo. xo

Jan | Poppytalk said...

oh my gosh, i'm sorry, i missed this LIsa - till today - so sorry to hear - how sad.