i have no answers
what do you hear when it's quiet? is it empty? do you avoid it? does your heart beat calmly? do you panic slightly when everything is perfectly still? do you mask what you really feel? so you seek approval? from who? why?
how do you long to be alone yet ache when you are? what devices do you use to fill the empty? how do you stay away from irony? how do you face uncertainty? what are you searching for? what has found you? what brings you joy? do you normally feel your heart? - really know that it's there?
what do you remember? what is iconic? can one thing sum up a lifetime? a person? a personality? how do you retain an essence? how do you honor those you love? how do you not become selfish? how can this not be about you?
in a fire what would you grab? in the dark whose hand do you hold? what if physically you are incapable of what you can dream mentally? what is success? why do you care?
why are we social? why can things you love sometimes also be burdensome? can you be too truthful? can you opt out of game playing? can you say too little? can you admit your faults?
what is optimism? what is phoney? what is inspriation? where does your gut get its smarts? why not? what for? why odd numbers? why can't you ask for help? what are you scared of? is there ever enough time? can you say i love you too much?
i apologize for the lack of photos and the randomness of this.... i was flooded by these questions late in the night. i don't even think i want answers to all of them. i do know that i want my grandma to feel better [she has pneumonia] and that i am looking forward to seeing her next week.
i am searching. i hope to be back to regular programming shortly. i am sorry to have missed this weeks corners of my home!
soon....
how do you long to be alone yet ache when you are? what devices do you use to fill the empty? how do you stay away from irony? how do you face uncertainty? what are you searching for? what has found you? what brings you joy? do you normally feel your heart? - really know that it's there?
what do you remember? what is iconic? can one thing sum up a lifetime? a person? a personality? how do you retain an essence? how do you honor those you love? how do you not become selfish? how can this not be about you?
in a fire what would you grab? in the dark whose hand do you hold? what if physically you are incapable of what you can dream mentally? what is success? why do you care?
why are we social? why can things you love sometimes also be burdensome? can you be too truthful? can you opt out of game playing? can you say too little? can you admit your faults?
what is optimism? what is phoney? what is inspriation? where does your gut get its smarts? why not? what for? why odd numbers? why can't you ask for help? what are you scared of? is there ever enough time? can you say i love you too much?
i apologize for the lack of photos and the randomness of this.... i was flooded by these questions late in the night. i don't even think i want answers to all of them. i do know that i want my grandma to feel better [she has pneumonia] and that i am looking forward to seeing her next week.
i am searching. i hope to be back to regular programming shortly. i am sorry to have missed this weeks corners of my home!
soon....
Comments
hope your grandma feels better soon... will be thinking of you.
Hope to see you back here soon, but take your time (sometimes it's good to take a step back)
Your grandma is very fortunate to have you in her life! I am wishing her a speedy recovery and you the patience to accept life on its terms while still working to make it better for yourself and those you love.
The others are right - never apologize about what you blog - it's your blog and we are just allowed a little peek into your soul (for which I'm eternally grateful).
I don't really have answers to your questions (which made me think hard by the way) except one: When your house is on fire you grab the hand of your loved one - and in my experience also something totally irrational like your passport...
Sending you a giant giant virtual hug...
i love this post...although answering even *one* of these questions would take quite a bit of time, so all of them together...they actually break my heart a little...
sorry for my absence here, if you're up for it, i'd love to drop by your studio one of these sundays and say "hi" (i'll bring the coffee and/or tea...and you can rattle off as many questions to me as you like:-)
Sending your grandmother good healing vibes.