some observations in no discernible order

[the polaroids really have nothing to do with this post - they are just ones that i took that day when i couldn't stop shooting them]

it's a good thing i'm drinking coffee again. and frankly the smell and the taste and the almost sheer enjoyment of it makes me surprised that i was able to abstain for so long. i sort of want to treat myself to this but it doesn't have stellar reviews.... so i'm waffling.



every morning this past week i have woken up and thought that there was no possible way our amazing weather could continue. and then it does. thank you weather gods for this incredible gift. and even though the fog and the cold returned this morning, i put on my warm socks and 2 sweaters quietly. i will try and remember not to curse you when we get our notorious winter this summer in july.

i cut my bangs the other day since i don't know when i'll be able to get a haircut. [who has time for a haircut?]. i logged onto my bank account and i think i look like the woman in this ad.

the first week of school is always tumultuous. i have to say, though, it feels like we are coming to the crux of a crisis. there are simply too many students for too few classes. at some point continuing to ask for things to be status quo while pulling the financial rug out from under the system is going to make everything collapse. and they are cutting more money in the fall. it simply does not seem fair - for anyone involved. the students, the staff, the faculty.

returning to school is like jumping in a very cold pool. it's shocking. my mind has to readjust to the inquisitiveness - to the setting up of parameters that have to flex and mold as i start to understand the needs and nuances of this particular group of students. to the seriousness and frankly plain old amount of WORK that it takes to run a class. but there's also the anticipation of a good swim. of floating in water and letting it lead you where it may. of opening your eyes under water and being excited by the altered view. the reflection of the sun and knowing that you simply just get to BE IN THE POOL. and once you've been in for 10 minutes it's not icy anymore.



work work work work work work work. i see a lot of work work work work work in my future. sometimes i wonder if this is just the state of being an artist in this society. if it's the state of being a mother in this society. or if perhaps i help to generate these whirlwinds - maybe in a state of denial. or in a state of defiance [how dare you say i can/or can't do XYZ]. or is it a state of i can't say no to many things because i don't think they'll come around again as opportunities [and believe me i have learned to say NO. i am saying no. i say no more and more]. as with all things, i bet the truth lies somewhere in between. but really i should get back to work work work work.



can i just tell you this silly story? in the car... i turn around and make a dumb face at the little when we are headed back home from the post office [where she patiently waited for me by sitting under the glass counter with her best pink bunny friend]
little: mama funny
me: you're funny
little: mama funny !!
me: you're silly
little: mama goofball ! [they have been lovingly and jokingly calling each other goofball and wingnut at daycare]
me: who else is a goofball?
little: garbo ! tonka !
me: papa? ba-chan?
little: yeah !!!!!
me: dada?
little: actually, dada is wingnut.

i almost fell over laughing. the actually came out of her mouth so perfectly... emphasized the way we've been reading it in this book.... yeah. it's pretty great to have her commentary running in my head as i walk around the world. fresh perspective is an understatement.

happy weekend !

playing with others

poppytalk is hosting winter color week. today is red . i remember when i used to play along with color weeks ... ahh.... but i can play today - as i have this fresh stack of polaroids that i took ... i spent a whole morning shooting shot after shot. i probably should have been doing a million other things, but i have a fridge full of expired 600 film and it has to get used. and i had the itch.



the other news is that i started a guest column over there... on poppytalk. i've decided to start a "make believe collection" . my own little self-indulgent posts about what art i would like to collect if i could have whatever i wanted. [price, scale, availability be damned]. i'm going to keep images of all my wants on pinterest for now - eventually i'd like to put them into dream rooms in my dream house... i'd love to know what you would collect. or if you agree/disagree with my choices as time goes on....



more polaroid goodness. i so missed taking them. really i did.




and in other collaborating news. jen of sprout studio asked me to come up with a necklace design for her artist of the month necklace series . i really kind of want one of each, but that seems a bit impractical. here's me .

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

and in other news... it's finally sunny. and not ultra freezing cold. and the little's birthday was full of pancakes and park and presents. she's having a party this weekend. i wonder if she'll wear a hat... [my money is on no]. we got to meet karen and baby lola and dada stefan yesterday... tartine and dolores park.... i wish more of my blog mom friends lived closer....

happy week to you!

h e l l o 2011 - better late than never

um. should i just pretend that it hasn't been over 2 weeks since i posted?
[and that photo has nothing to do with anything other than i like the fact that i have a thimble that says home on it]

perhaps that's the best handle on this situation. oh i had fleeting hopes of putting up a year in review post - or a happy new year post - or any other slightly commemorative, introspective, and nuanced piece of congratulatory happy happy merry merry wow we made it posting.

i admit it got easy to simply not post. to just cocoon and to enjoy the little's excitement over her new gifts - at the wonder of santa eating her christmas cookie. to go to bed ridiculously early on new year's eve mistily remembering the days that i found it thrilling to great the new year at the stroke of midnight. to succumb to hat wearing indoors and the loss of and subsequent return of studio time.

when i look over my flickr account over the last year there is very little to report. there are my weekly mostly private little photos. some habit shots, the making of art and very little else. long gone are the days of photographing, or for that matter doodling, idling, randomly searching and meandering on the internet for fun. perhaps this is in some ways why i continue to hold onto this space - long after many a good friend has given up blogging, i still feel compelled. perhaps it's also because my mailbox was filled this holiday with very REAL treats - cards, cookies, jams, books, and more from many people who i am fortunate to call friend that i have met from this space.

and so... here we are again. in a new year. and what, pray tell, am i up to?



furiously i work on an exhibition that will open at gallerie nicoletta rusconi in milan in april. i normally wouldn't discuss this, but tickets have been bought and so i'm fairly certain that this is beyond jinxing.



i'm planning on a large large wall piece, and a room full of drawings... and some sculpture. [insert trepidation here - because afterall, my work is usually somehow tied to the wall - literally and figuratively speaking]. and so i really should be working on those things instead of typing here, but...



the little turns TWO this week on wed. cliche it may be, but i am beyond amazed that 2 years have passed. when i think of her 5 pounds and tiny and blinking under a silly blue and white striped baby hat compared to her now - a very independent and ever talkative [yesterday in the car she decided to point out every dirty road sign and what shape and color they were. when i said oh really is it dirty? what should we do? she would claim loudly - yes mama ! dirty sign ! clean it ! i clean it ! mama wash it ! more dirty signs mama ! i find dirty signs !] bundle of toddlerhood... well... i think i can hold it together, but man - she'll be what - 10 before i can blink?

speaking of being a mommy : you can actually read a interview of me by dana on her blog leililaloo. "balancing" - a series of questions she posed about being creative and being a mother. truth be told it took me MONTHS to actually get her my responses - i blame not being able to balance everything as much as i wish i could.

and with that - i think i'll bid you adieu... i do have a couple of tricks up my sleeve to share with you soon. i'm going to be guest posting now and again on another blog this year... my last post here holds a clue to that... should be fun.

hope 2011 brings health and happiness, good surprises, and moments of sublime sweetness to you.